I assigned a timed writing assignment in my fifth grade class today. The class was completely silent, except for the scratching of pens, when suddenly someone in the front row lets out a fart. It’s one of those really long, drawn-out ones and totally noticeable. Three awkward seconds pass by before the giggling breaks out.

Then the rest of the class starts asking questions, “Who was that? Who farted?”, except for the two in front who were oddly quiet.

I’m trying to keep a straight face and restore order back to the class, “Alright, guys, go back to writing.”

Then they turn on me, “Ah, it was Teacher. Hehehehe.”

But it was not me. I know exactly who did it. The one eating yogurt before class. Asians and their lactose intolerance.